D(e)ad is an impressive independent dramedy that benefits from the authencity that writer/star Isabella Roland brings to the project. The Dropout star used the death of her own father (and the reaction she and her family had to it) to inform her new film, which focuses on a young woman who realizes she’s the only member of her family who can’t see the ghost of the deceased dad.
It’s a heartwrenching and hilarious movie, with Rolan’s script never feeling anything less than painfully authentic. During an interview with TVBrittanyF ahead of the release of D(e)ad, Isabella Roland discussed learning from her mother how to become a writer, the delicate emotional balance between laughing and crying, and why she’s come to despise mediums.
TVBrittanyF: You have so much experience as an actor. How did you approach writing a screenplay like D(e)ad?
Isabella Roland: I definitely started out thinking I never ever wanted to write. That was not something that was a part of my plan. I was like, ‘I’m gonna be an actress and I’m gonna win an Oscar.’ I would cry when I watched the best actress winning Oscars. Then, I very quickly learned that people do not just give you the roles you want. That happens to like, 1.5% of the population. You can’t just be the most talented one, and then they’ll give you an opportunity.
I know all of the most talented people in the world who are just not famous, which is a crime. It’s devastating. Very quickly, I learned that I needed to learn new skills to supplement that, or I was just going to be waiting forever. So I very quickly took to writing, and really enjoyed it. You learn how to write for yourself.
My mom was my model. She’s a very successful, very talented writer who writes primarily autobiographical stuff. I’ve been watching someone do that for my entire life. It’s probably more effective teaching than going to a school for two years and paying way too much. Having that be part of your life, I imagine, does have an impact.
I feel like a pretty cut-and-dry nepo baby. My family is successful and has had its ups and downs in their careers. They’re not huge names, I don’t think people would necessarily know who they are, but I’ve been very privileged to be able to have this master class of watching my mom, a brilliant writer… just reading her work and watching her write jokes. It’s priceless, and I am extremely spoiled for that.
The film has this very delicate balance of grief and comedy. How did you approach that balance?
It was truly just the actual experience of going through those kinds of emotional moments. A lot of the movie, obviously, is fictional. But those emotional moments are what inspired the story. As soon as we left the hospital after my dad died, we were looking back at our time there. It was like that was 70% hysterical laughing, 30% hysterical crying.
There were so many scenes that I had written that didn’t make it into the movie, just because they didn’t serve the plot. But every interaction you have in that setting is so heightened because of the circumstances. If you have a comedy family, you can’t ignore just the subtle and extreme awkwardness of being with a person who’s dying. You still have these somewhat human interactions with it that can be really funny.
I agree. It’s also something I spoke with Brennan about that kind of balance a while ago, and he mentioned how important that balance really is.
[Laughter] There was literally a moment, Brennan actually was there when my dad died. He was in the hospital room and was there the moment that he flatlined. I’m hugging my mom and my sister, we’re sobbing, saying goodbye. And I look up at Brennan and my sister’s partner — my sister did get pregnant on a surprise first date with her now husband — we’re together and sobbing.
Then I just looked up for a second, and I caught Brennan and my brother-in-law just staring at my father’s body. They were in full dissociation mode. I burst out laughing! I was dying laughing. They were like, ‘What are we supposed to do with our face? I’m trying to help you, but also that’s a dead body, that’s interesting on a human level!” It’s all so human.
That really is what makes the script work so well. Also, the banshees joke. Which, not going to lie, I was hoping we’d see at least one.
If we had more money, there would have been banshees. It’s almost a gift that we didn’t make more money; I would have been putting banshees everywhere.
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Because so much of this story is exploring your real emotions over it, I’ve got to ask — how did you approach the film’s balance of trying to grieve over the death of a father, coupled with the connected emotions of being frustrated with a deadbeat dad?
I think that’s what I was internally [exploring]. It became a good mirror into what I was internally going through. I was genuinely feeling very haunted by the experience of watching [my father] die and feeling so immensely guilty about what his life had become. My Dad literally was living in Section Eight housing. He was under very sad circumstances when he passed, and it was a miracle that both my sister and I and our mom, his ex-wife, were with him in the room when he died.
He was this explosion of a person, a problematic person. But I was left with these very complicated, conflicting emotions, wishing it had gone differently. I was guilty and angry and sad, and it took me — I’m a complete and utter atheist, but during this period I was like, something came to me! I get really angry about it. People can believe what they want to believe, but having experienced this, I get really angry at people who are like, ‘I’ve had religious experiences’ or ‘I’m a medium, and I can talk to dead people, I can talk to your dad.’ I’m like, why the fuck can you and I can’t?
I was so desperate for a spiritual moment, and it took trauma therapy and medication and stuff like that to deal with. I remember the good of him… It’s about remembering the good parts of him. I was relieved that my dad didn’t have the memories of suffering anymore, but I’m left with this. Not only am I left to contend with the pain, but I also need to cherish the good that was there. And there was good there. Being able to celebrate that and live with the good memories was what really freed me from that.
What was the biggest surprise you encountered during this experience?
I think selfishly, I was shocked that it happened! I could not believe it was happening. I was surprised by how so many people were able to make it their own. Producers, other cast members, the crew, I had to be like, ‘Okay, I’m sharing this because you guys are as devoted and confident about this.’
I couldn’t believe how committed people were. These people weren’t doing me a favor for my career. This is very important to them as well, and their careers, and now it’s a group project and a group effort, and something that means a lot to a lot of people. That was a beautiful surprise. Everyone has experiences on a set being like, ‘What the fuck is this? Why am I here?’ And thankfully, this was not that. Everyone was there for it.
D(e)ad is now playing in select theaters
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